I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
