I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
