We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
