Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize