im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
