im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
