watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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