Nicole vs. Life
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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