Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize