You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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