So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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