before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
