yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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