i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
