I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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