haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
