i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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