It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
