There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
