as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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