So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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