i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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