So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and she was petting her beer can
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I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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