Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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