wrigley field is MILF paradise
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
