Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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