...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
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Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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