i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
