Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
