So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
