i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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