remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
