no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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