we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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