Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize