I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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