i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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