Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
