Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
