It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
