he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
