I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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