I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize