apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
