last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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