I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
