so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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