the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So vagazzling was a success
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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