gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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