dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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