Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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