we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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