I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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