I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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