So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize