No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
