oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
