I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wish my penis had a tongue
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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