Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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