It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
