don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Damn victory sex feels great
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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