I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
